Searching for something or other.

There are few times in life when we are ever truly and utterly happy. Right slap dash in the middle of joy, if you will. These moments are so seldom a part of our lives. Yet we cling on to them, more so than others. Most of us are, most of the time, mostly, just neutral in every day life. Not feeling anything in particular. Probably because we at that very moment are not on fire, being stabbed, run over, struck by lighting or in other ways dying. Yet people obsess about being happy, constantly happy, overjoyed even. Continually being in positive situations where everything revolves around their positive emotions. Horseshit! Happiness, like romance, cannot be constructed and planned. Only a cheap replica can be created, a lesser versions of the real thing. These can certainly be enjoyable, I suppose, but that begs the question: How is that happiness any more acceptable and real than that which a junkie gets with each fix? It's all just neurons and pathways smothered in chemicals up there in that box of wires you call your brain. I've never understood societies objections to certain things you may do to your own body. Granted the fallout of these actions may be bothersome to the "civilized" world in which we live. But then shouldn't the fallout be the centre of attention? And personal responsibility be the issue? Yes, certain drugs and substances are so potent that they will likely lead to a whole series of problems. Probably resulting in death. Then again, life is a series of problems resulting in death. Maybe a serious heroin addiction is just life in concentrated form? And you'd think people would have heard something negative about heroin, meth and crack by now. I'll just stick to my drugs of choice thank you very much. Caffeine, alcohol and sex. They bring me all the chemical joy I need, most of the time. "Save your bullets tough guy, my disease does that for free." PS - I came dangerously close to writing "chemical romance" in a paragraph. Luckily I was able to stab myself in the forearm before that could happen....

Artist, humanitarian, hero.

Did you know I once wrestled and strangled a grizzly bear using only my thumbs in order to save some orphans? Yeah I'm great that way. Why was I only using my thumbs you ask? Well, I stumbled upon the helpless orphans while I was cleverly disguised, undercover, in a full bodycast in order to trap an evil mastermind plotting to destroy the world's cake supply. Not on my watch buddy! I haven't mentioned I'm a secret agent before? Step onto my private jet and let's discuss it further baby. Champagne?

Rough depiction of me, sans the kickass stache.

Sports aren't manly.

You would be surprised how many women I talk to think some athlete is the pinnacle of humanity and masculine prowess. He's not even necessarily very good at what he does, which is really the thing that boggles my mind. The mere fact that he's engaged in some ridiculous made up activity is enough for him to be desirable, it seems. When did society go from admiring the athlete to worshiping the sport? The idea that muscular and athletic men are attractive I can understand, it's some sort of remnant from our prehistoric past, further fueled by the media's image of men. The different details and workings of this I'll leave up to Darwinism and sociological research to explain but I think it can be pretty clearly stated that resourcefulness or intelligence come in a distant second for most women. Yes, we've all heard the idea that as long as a man is self-confident or has a sense of humor that's all women really look for. That is complete and utter horseshit. If that were true I'd be knuckle-deep in vagina every other night. We are all, men and women, shallow in many respects. The only real difference is that men are more upfront about it.

Tell me this isn't a little bit retarded... But I digress. My real point here, which I'm fumbling towards, is that sports in and off themselves are utterly absurd and silly. I often make the comparison between sports and live action role-playing. They are both completely made up activities. People put on strange equipment and clothes and meet in some field, everyone plays for points according to some set of rules they've all agreed upon and when they're done they pack up and go home. Only to begin anew in a while. The main contrast between the two is that one group of practitioners are hailed as gods and the other is a subculture ridiculed by most who know of their existence. Oh well, now some might say that sports include a lot of physical activity and thus it's more of a legitimate diversion. Shit a brick. It's all just entertainment. If you like watching sports and cheering for some group of people bashing their skulls together, fine. Have a great time. Just don't expect me to give two shits about when they win or lose. When one person or team finally trumps the others and wins the whole series/season/hoopla they take a little break, and then start all over again! Why do sports, and especially team sports, take up such a huge block of the media's time? Again, it's just entertainment. It doesn't mean anything! At least fiction can grant some sort of insight into reality and truth as well as entertain you. Why are you paying these men, these athletes, millions and millions for frolicking in the sun? As far as sports being manly let me just say this: Get back to me when you've been through the school of getting the shit kicked out of you, like I have. Running around on a field with your friends, hugging some dudes and getting a little dirt on your socks is not any more manly than dressing up as some mythological figure and throwing pine-cones at one another.

Greenpeace.

Greenpeace's problem with nuclear power, deforestation, killing baby seals and such are all well known. It's the face of Greenpeace we've come to know and....know. One might think they are just a bunch of well meaning hippie types, cruising around in some rickety boat. Seldom washing, having hot hemp fueled hippie on hippie filthy sex in their downtime. I know I sure did. Over the years however I've come to have a very different view of these people. I've essentially grown to hate them. Not for their anti-nuclear, no-baby-seal-killing-stance which is all well and good I suppose, even though I don't necessarily agree with them. A whale would kill you and your entire family if it had the chance. No, what makes me hate them are the inane and sometimes insane fringe ideas they also bolster. Let's just talk a little about their fervent opposition to genetically modified foods. Sure, if it was just in an attempt to stomp those corporations trying to wrangle poor farmers into a system of re-buying seeds every year for crops that have been genetically designed to not produce seeds of their own and dying just after harvest. A policy of going after that type of corporate practice would be commendable. But Greenpeace opposes all types of genetic manipulation of crops or cattle. Guess what fuckers? Every type of farm animal alive today has been genetically modified. Just not by such a direct process but instead by selective breeding over thousands of years. Same goes for our crops. So I guess they're against being more efficient? "The technology behind genetically modified (GM) food enables scientists to bypass natural selection and evolution by transferring genes from species that would never normally breed together." More of their insanity here. Wow, holy shit. We mustn't break the process of natural selection! Certainly not in order to feed people. I guess going hungry is a small price to pay when knowing that you've protected some indigenous plant, rodent or bird in some part of Africa. A part where "normal" crops are next to impossible to grow successfully for any longer period of time. I have another little piece of information here Greenpeace: Breaking the process of natural selection is what got us here. Using their type of logic you shouldn't get yourself vaccinated or fly in airplanes because it somehow goes against "nature". For the most part it's not like scientists are crossing a blueberry with a damn octopus. If I could speed up the plantation of genetically modified crops that would yield greater harvests by stomping rodents to death with my boots and kicking over a shrubbery I'd be doing so right now. I unlike Greenpeace like people more than some rare fucking species of hamster occupying an ecological niche in Africa. No, the crops or cattle escaping into the wild would not bring about some doomsday scenario. Oh shit?! The people would have more food to eat, for free? Good God, No! The planet is becoming overpopulated pretty fast so unless you want to start sterilizing people or killing them at the age of 30 like in Logan's Run the only other option is figuring out how to get more food out of the earth. Sidenote: Could someone please explain to me why they keep getting in the face of fishermen? Don't you think they'd be doing something else rather than risking their lives on the high seas if they could? When your father, grandfather and his grandfather were all fishermen you pretty much know where you'll be spending your adulthood. It's not like they go out looking for fish to torture and whales to rape. Having to clean out a hippie from your netting or scrubbing their little dingy of the hull isn't exactly a thrilling prospect.

More equal than others.

Today is International Women's Day. We probably all know what that means. Some marches, some panel discussions on TV about inequality and idiots spouting off all around. Indeed there are obvious cases of inequality all over the world. Therefore there must also be massive inequality here, in our Western democracy. Right? That is somehow a foregone conclusion. The problem always seems to be pinpointing exactly what this actually manifests as. Wages are more often than not used as an indicator of equality and thus some deduce that women, who in general make less, are disfavored by a social pattern. Or perhaps by a concerted effort from men. In a way, the latter is more realistic. I'm not claiming men sit around in a gentlemen's club, puffing cigars and sipping brandy. Planning out how we are going to suppress women. At least not any men I know. Maybe I haven't been invited, fuckers! Corporations think rationally, to the point of being absolutely amoral. "Can we somehow pay half of the workforce 20% less? You can? Then let's do it. Fetch my hat and cane Jeeves! I'm going to fuck some people in the ass." Yes, rich white motherfuckers who don't give a shit about you and me are trying to pay their workers less so that they can make more. There's nothing complex or unexpected in that logic. Money is the driving force of everything in our world. If an industrialist could pay his male work force 20% less than the women he'd be doing that instead. Yes, the original reason for this wage discrepancy was institutionalized inequality. During the industrial revolution! Considering that we've gone from about 10 000 years of overt female subjugation to a 15-20% wage differential in less than 100 years I say we're doing pretty well thus far. And the reason why most of the rich white industrialists who control our world are male is equally simple. Groups of friends, men in this case, hang out and do each other favors. Few people circulate in and out these groups and thus women are excluded. A bunch of girlfriends are talking/watching a movie/kickboxing a polar bear or something, what are the odds that a guy is also hanging out with them? Without being a third wheel type boyfriend or gay? The important thing to remember here is that our style of government is what makes our society the most equal and fair the world has ever seen. Yes, there, I said it. Western style democracy is not only different than all other styles of government. It's superior. Our society is superior to all others. Shouldn't 51% of all days of the year be women's days?