A Modest Wish

To whom it may concern. (you know who you are) Your love is the child seat going through the windshield that is my heart in the great traffic collision of life. We two do not have time for rational solutions, we're wanted for assaulting a circus monkey. The perfect crime, some would say. The perfect crime for the perfect partner, that is you. As you well know there is a thin line between hugging someone and holding them down so that they can't escape. I will never escape from you, you're a much faster runner. So many memorable things have happened to us, unfortunately I can not remember any of these events. Does alcohol effect the memory? I think I read that somewhere once. In any event, I really like spending time with you. And also, you smell nice. Which is important in this smell-oriented modern world of ours. Here's hoping we won't grow tired of each other in the near future. - Dedicated to someone who did not love me. Ps. FUCK YOU!

Narrow, Shallow and Small.

Narrow Why does every debate and every issue have to revolve around gender? What makes men and women different, be it biologically or culturally, always seems to be the main focus. How has society separated and suppressed women this time? Granted, I myself have made such observations from time to time but I don't see it as the mainstay of my intellectual self. I have other things up there, in that noggin of mine. Other ideas and musings that do not touch upon feminist theory or opposing ideals. What sort of cognitive pretzel would you have to twist yourself into in order to make absolutely everything about gender equality? Shallow We all live in a miniature world. Everything is so close these days, and so fast. Immediately accessible to anyone at any time. This is mostly a good thing. One side effect though seems to be the ever decreasing attention spans and simpler trails of thought. Quite often people can't even hold one encompassing thought in their heads for more than a few minutes. Let alone two directly opposed ones. These aren't kids with ADD, ADHD or some other disorder, these are "normal" adults. It is quite possible that this has always been the case and that it's only become much more visible now that everyone has a way of expressing themselves to a greater number of people. The Internet is the great repository of this brain-goop. The great mental meltdown of society.

This is where we live.

This tiny little world we live in is all our tiny little plastic brains can handle. Everything is clear-cut, prefabricated and safe in its sameness. Selecting what you want to see and hear and feel. Not everything is going to revolve around what you take an active interest in. Not everything is going to be about child welfare, the environment or gender equality. Noble subjects as they may be. Human society and life is infinitely more complex than that. Small The entire concept of personal responsibility has utterly gone out the window. Like some fad that we've found quaint and discarded. Nothing is your fault anymore. It's your genes, upbringing, circumstance and society that's to blame for everything that's wrong with you and your life. Of course all of these different aspects play a role in shaping people. But you do have a brain with a cerebral cortex capable of reason and thought. It's a wonder anyone gets held responsible for anything anymore. You can't keep up with being a parent and working? Maybe you should have had less kids. How about you at least get the first one right before you pump out another one? A smaller house would mean less cleaning. Less frilly and expensive clothing would mean less laundry and less shopping. You don't need to be a top executive at a soulless corporation some day. So what if the lawn is untidy? Trust me, all these pointless activities and fads that you're wasting the best years of your life on won't mean anything. The one with the most toys doesn't win, they just leave behind more garbage to be thrown away and discarded. After all, we need to make way for more pointless shit. Are we really such small people? This is not as pointed or succint as it ought to be. I hope to one day be smart enough for that.

Plastic bags.

Returning to the topic of environmentalism. According to a poll in a Swedish evening newspaper (not the best source I know) 72.2% of people want to ban plastic bags. Apparently because they are bad for the environment. Why don't just those 72.2% stop buying the damn things and we wouldn't need a legislated ban. That even 1% of the population would want this is depressing. People in this godforsaken country really do want to be disciplined by the government. Like some stern father who lets them know what they may or may not do, in all aspects of life. I can only guess that they find some sense of security in that.

A menacing killer.

The scary thing is that people may actually believe in this sort of soft policy/journalism fluff. The planet will not go tits up because of some plastic bags, trust me. Maybe the fact that many industrialised nations still pump their sewage, mostly untreated, straight into the ocean should concern people a little bit more. Literally being up a shit creek some day doesn't sound too exciting to me.

Nature.

One has to be amazed by the ignorance of people sometimes. Global warming is just the latest in a long line of arrogant ideas concocted by us humans. The sheer hubris that mankind, annoying as we may be, could ever "destroy" nature is so laughable as to be utterly absurd. I believe one of the main reasons for this irrational idea, or fear if you're a proper idiot, is that modern day people have no concept of what nature actually is. Granted that people in Ye Olde Times had little to no grasp of the cosmos, they at least had some fundamental understanding of how the fauna directly surrounding them functioned. Even though it seemed awfully scary. Probably because it is. People these days get their imagery and mental picture of nature from Disney films, it seems. Where animals and plants have the characteristics of humans and live happily together, in peace, smiling and singing forever and ever. The end. Poppycock! Animals fight all the time, in fact, that's most of what they do. Every single day of their lives. They have to fight for territory, food, not to become food, for mating rights. In fact, for everything. Because you see, nature doesn't dole out good tidings and fortunes like some benevolent mother figure as filthy hippies would have you believe. Nature will kick your ass. Or it would, back in the day. Before us humans became all uppity and decided to not be completely subject to nature's hardships. Yes, we do have some control of our environment. And we have done some damage, a hell of a lot. But in the great scheme of things we are but a pimple on the face of nature. And not even a very bad case of pubescent acne at that. This shit will clear up as soon as nature decides to wash a bit more and stay of sweets for a while. Debates over whether of not predators such as wolves and bears are too dangerous and should be destroyed makes me laugh. Are people really that stupid? Are we really such big pussies? Honestly? It's as if we want a clinically sterile, prepackaged, controlled, safety tested form of nature. Where only friendly animals such as, I don't know, fluffy little bunnies exist. That's not nature, that's a fucking park you morons. Get your heads out of your asses, your asses out of your office chairs and out into the woods and have a look around. On second thought, don't. People know nothing of "the country" and will end up getting killed by a rogue magpie or something. Then we'd have to kill all of them as well. Have a happy new year. May your days be filled with satisfying random encounters and positive meals that taste quite nice. I'm modest in my well-wishings these days. As not to put too much pressure on you...you're welcome!

Bullshit.

That's what the world looks like to me right now. A big stinking mound of pure excrement. And it just keeps piling on every day. Higher and higher until maybe, hopefully, it all tips over and drowns us in a flash flood of feces. A turd tsunami of destruction. Enough with the poop talk. Every time I think I've found a loophole it turns out to be a noose.  I used to be good at "the talking", "the talking" was my thing. My only thing really. Now I just flop around like a fish having some sort of epileptic fit. I can't believe how much time I've wasted trying to be something I'm not. I'm not a cool guy, I'm just a nice guy wearing an awesome shirt and hat. I don't know which disappoints me more; Me trying to act like someone else or me being the exact same person I've always been. I'm essentially a tall 8 year old boy holding a beer. Somewhat more hairy of course. At other times I feel like I'm doing a piss poor impersonation of myself. Honestly, I quite often wish I was gay. Or at the very least bi-sexual. Which is sort of gay-lite, I guess, I don't really know a lot about gayness. I'd imagine coming out to my family would be harsh but after that it's just clear sailing ahead! No more having to deal with women and their bullshit! Now if I can just stay clear of natural disasters involving fecal matter and I'm all set. Be quiet and let me love you. Let me love you and have some cake.